Episode 258

Episode 258

"When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you...When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you...When I kissed you,I was afraid to love you...Now that I love you , I'm afraid to lose you...~~Roy Croft~~~

I loved you 

Even now I may confess

 some embers of my love ,their fire retain

but do not let it cause you more distress

I do not want to sadden you again

Hopeless and tongue tied , yet I loved you dearly

WIth pangs the jealous  and the timid know

So tenderly I loved you, sincerely

I pray God grant another love you so

because simply enough I love you so deeply

~~LOVE is HOME~~

 Episode starts with the debate going within Khushi about the fact that she hasn't told the facts to the family specially, to his di, his sister, the lone star of his horizon. she is still unsure about the actions as she witness  Anjali's worry, she does exactly what Arnav would have done to protect the family, to Anjali because she doesn't want to risk Anjali's health at any cost.

 

Nani's & Khushi's interaction highlights the importance on understanding between these two.Nani when she questions Khushi about the pretended call, Khushi answers her with honesty laying all the facts and her reasons and  one again Nani witnesses how beautifully Khushi has accepted Arnav's world as her own,his fears, his responsibilities. One side She takes a promise from Nani that this news cannot be disclosed to Anjali for her protection and other side she doesn't let Nani loose her hope. She knows only hope can guide her to him in the midst of gloom.

But most interesting thing is  when Anjali listen the news, her reactions  highlight her fear of loss & the whole family comes in,That shows how her insecurities lie withing fears of losing these two men...Arnav and Shyam,If she has this reaction towards Arnav , then anyone can imagine towards Shyam

Here connects the Teej , Arnav was with her during all of her worries and even held her , protected her from falling before Shyam even could make his move but She leaned towards Shyam and Shyam did take her away from Arnav for their yearly pooja and he was in his lust during that pooja too...and that's exactly will happen again during the revelation of Shyam because she will not be able to see him lusting over honey or money till she will get wounded [chot] badly by her womb.

 

The two scenes of  shyam did show his rattled look and Slithery moves,..., yesterday too when he heard khushi leaving for London, he was disturbed & made a call where he was adamant & today again when he reacts to Anjali's  reaction, his shock, his failure and the slipping of sand from his hand look enveloped a lot and this was the scene when  Iknew in my first round he is the kidnapper, made a post on written update too.Again he was unsettled when they deicide on cop action he disappears from from the family ...as on every gathering of Dukh Sukh , this outsider is not there...

  

My most touched grabber is the merger of Arnav Singh Raizada and Arnav into one. I always felt for him with his war within as ASR /Arnav, but today seeing him expressing himself with smooth transitional ebbing and flowing of both personalities while he spoke to his family was enough to touch a chord within me.I've always felt this distance between Arnav and his family. There is always this peculiar 'gap' between them regardless of love ."Chote is used to eat alone" ...as I can never get over with this when Nani said to Khushi...But today The entire family was awaiting to talk to this man who has always been there for them. This man, who is now all alone, in some dark place, under gun, or under threat as they were observing him while he was talking.

 Arnav Singh Raizada, a young man who learnt to deal with the world at very young age fearlessly and alone but fears never left him alone ...A man  who was deprived of the tender care and love which he still seeks for ... A man  who took the massive responsibility of his family before enjoying youth and jumped straight into maturity...A man who is  just, genuine, selfless and corrects his mistakes when he knows he is at fault. Arnav Singh Raizada is not who cowers  under pressure. He has been through extremely tough times and he shows exactly the same sitting under guns... his sharp thinking with brilliant presence of mind equipped with ability of quick processing any information makes him who he is ...Arnav Singh Raizada...a man of steel enveloped with tender heart. He preserves the calm and control of ASR by showering the love and affection of Arnav as he speaks to his family.

A family who didn't even ponder for three days till Anjali's break down whether he reached London safely or not . It was only Khushi who was worried about him including with the worry of not presenting the truth of her and Shyam before him because of which he left with heavy heart.

Despite the fact he has spent a life time with his family ,Khushi is the one who he delivers a big clue about his current state - the person he claims he hates, doesn't believe in, who he feels is a cheater and has low character and she is the one he delivers his message of help to. Not his family members who he has lived with years who have let him be ASR and failed to dig deeper below the facade of ASR, who touch the surface of Arnav but not the stretch of Arnav within.

He was patient...he was cherishing those moments with loved ones while facing danger..."I'm fine.." to his worrying Di , a firm " Gee Nani" to Naniji's chidings...as he always does as a grandson ...to keep the pillar in her strong..and a slight smirk over Mamiji's jabber and above all explained the work status to a brother ...Akash ...and then with a hesitant, unsure , and fear ...he pauses...before talking to the girl who he knows ,wants to talk to him for many days, and who he wants to talk too,a girl who is the only one who he shows his true self and can't hide himself from her,a girl who sees him for who he is and accepts him as he is.

He sensed her presence on the phone and here comes their privacy...she knows her man and makes this moment private ,as always in between them just like "Bas pata chal jata hai.."...by walking away from the family...just two of them...Rabba Ve strides in with her ...He heard her soft breath over the phone... her silence was enough for him, her soft tears through the phone were saying the state of her heart...,His lips could only deliver...Kh... and the air which always deliver their heart state, their mehsoos since from the beginning ...it gets halted in between them...gets frozen and she stops breathing...yes she hears him saying her name... and just like always, he couldn't see her crying, her pain, her broken state like that.he pleads..."Khushi plz mat ro"...He wanted to soothe her, to calm her down, to bring peace to her ... and tries his best but her tears flow by their own... He tries the stern and firm ASR ways too,"Khushi Bas...main theek hoon...kya..."  but nothing stopped her tears for him and he knows that  it was for him ..., every single tear drop had his name ...

"Fear can only grow in darkness.Once you face fear with light,you win."

~~Steve Maraboli~~

Yes he hates her but dying thousand times saying this one name"Khushi..."...Her tears which makes him halt as always , the pearls which he broke but he's been tying those priceless, soft,and  pure nuggets in a thread of  care , affection and in his ajeeb Love... Her heart finally recognized it with his one word...her name from his mouth,..."Khushi!!!" ..That's all she wanted to hear, her name from his mouth for which she was calling him over and over on the phone, running after on the airport but he didn't utter her name to give her solace, a healing bam on her wounds which he gave her and he knows that... and she cries her heart out over his shoulder by holding the phone imaging him with both hands just like always...getting strength from him and transferring strength in him...Yes he the one who hates her , he who gives her tears, but he is the one who always hurt himself in return for giving those tears "kyuon karta hoon main aisa..har bar uss ki ankhon main ansoo..."[Why I became a reason of her tears, why do I do that???]- ...

The pain in him...The pain in her...the pain which they both feel for each other makes them to submits their souls to each other ...His breaking of words,"Khushi main..." ... His stammering words with quivering lips ,holding her tight which she feels as his need...brings her second hand to join the first one to transfer him strength...,and he gets it from her and relinquishes himself over the moment by conceding and admitting without hesitation."Khushi...I love you...  " without caring of Truths and Lies of Shyam or anything...just taking enough strength from her and transferring enough to her to come out of this shell of fear...to come out of this mask of denial...to come out of this darkness by spreading light around her ...Today he broke the cocoon of fear by stepping out of this shell... by cocooning her in his safe harbor of Love which is always her safe heaven...

The wind which was frozen in that moment has completed the message ,picks up the pace to make their surroundings halted to keep the silence within them...only...Her widen eyes shed a lonely tear of innocent joy in months and mingles with smile on her face...He hangs up in sheer pain but today he delivers her , her need ...His unconditional Love...bringing her search to home...in him...Yes she is home today.

She looks at the phone like she is looking at him...smiles and then holds it tightly to her chest just like she was holding his hand right next to her chest on Diwali...aisa kyuon hota hai...He gave her the answer but her inebriated state couldn't register it and today finally she got her answer...

 She always responds to him whenever he calls her name...even in anger or rage...From , Guest house till lonely nights of his holding curtains of his poolside to waking up saying her name ...she was sitting in front of DM making plans not to see him again and leaving him for forever...or sensing him on the other side of the wall finding him during kidanpping...or hearing him calling her during sleep to sensehis need where he wants to hold her hand...his aadat...or at the top of hill...where he was holding his life in his arms lifeless but she hears him and responds tohis heartbeat...or when he fights with his fears and rage over the loss of his mother on his wedding night and calls her before meeting an accident...she hears him sitting on mandap ..."hum jante hain Arnavji keh saath kuch to bura huwa hai..."...Yes Khushi bridges all of the connections of his needs just being by his side...

Today ,Arnav  is coming out from the darkness after a long time..after losing the light of his life , His mother.He has been shown the ray of light again by the fear of losing the only light of his life , HisKhushi...Today ,the moon which has the power of holding all the craters of darkness by getting light from the Sun is illuminating proudly under the visage of this Sun by marking him as hers through his confession...

In the need , In his fear of losing Khushi...He gathers energy from her..on dreadful night...she holds his firm hand with her both hands and he takes strength from that firm hold to face the family and the war within...In GH , first time to face the fear of hugging new relationships with open questions...she grabs him from falling in that whirlpool with her both hands...on Airport he joined his hand with hers and both get hope for life and today again she transfers strength by gaining from him at the same time by holding the phone with her two hands...she feels his need and delivers it as always.

  

The above is the scene where both ASR and Arnav blend seamlessly yet retain their individual characteristics in the process. ASR intelligently covers the hint of his deathly situation through Arnav's love for Khushi! Simply Amazing!!! As long as Khushi is beside him, ASR/Arnav will never be alone. His heart knows this, and his heart understands this.

Love is after all - Home.

 And She was 'home' with him today and that is why he placed a hint of his situation willingly and trustingly with her and only with her.

ASR may be alone when he is with family, and they may treat him the way he wants to be treated, but it is not the same with Khushi. He is alone when Khushi is not there with him, he is at distant from himself when Khushi is not there in his life because he feels a human being while being with her as she treats him the way he 'needs' to be treated by fulfilling his needs .

ASR or Arnav, Shaitan or Rajkumar ... Khushi has accepted him the way he is because she knows deep down, that the two personalities are one both are bridged by Love. Love that makes him a Shaitan, Love that makes him a Rajkumar.

The two banks of a  River which were joined by the bridge of love but none of them wanted to cross it by embracing it in the temple during bandagement but Today that lost love in the middle of that bridge has reached Home...

She is his..."tab se..."...She holds him tightly one more time and let the smile reaching his heart to be at content to know that She is at peace...She walks away from the family...crossing all the edgy corners of "Fadak..." yes it mattered all along...His submitted himself to her a long time ago and she knew it but today a woman is meeting with her needs ...her need of acceptance ..her need of validation...She is Home...

"I love u dammit and hum bhi aapse I love u dammit will join later...forcefully [My POV]

She knows "kuch to Bura huwa hai aapke saath"...he is in trouble otherwise..."wo sab theek chalet aise kaise..."Yes she knows...Message has been delivered ...from heart to heart...